This is how I achieved my goal.
Caution be very carefull, messing with your mbr and bcd store is dangerous and could cause your system not to boot at all, thus leading to more pain and suffering, proceed with caution.
First you have to understand how to make windows reboot with a bat file.
XP shutdown -r -t 00 (this tells xp to reboot with 00 delay) basic stuff
Vista= download the wizmo program below and setup the command to reboot. You end up with the wizmo.exe and a shortcut with the switch wizmo.exe reboot. fairly easy to do, follow the directions. I put wizmo in the root of my c:\ just to keep it out of the way.
http://www.grc.com/files/wizmo.exeNext, you need to be able to identify the "GUID" of your vista install and your XP install. XP is always identified as follows {ntldr}. IF you have vistabootpro then the next part is easy, if you don't have it, then get it. vistabootpro is a nice program to have, you may need to update portions of your system to get it to run. It will tell you if your lacking anything.
here ->
http://www.vistabootpro.org/track/click.php?id=2From vistabootpro change your default OS to windows XP.
Now, from a command prompt run bcdedit. If you are currently in XP you may need to copy the bcdedit.exe from your vista windows\system32 folder to the like folder in XP.
The output from BCDEDIT will have the category "windows boot manager", in this list is the "default" category. You should see {ntldr} take note of this location, you will come back to it. Next go back to Vistabootpro and change your default OS to vista. Rerun BCDEDIT and look at the default line now. it should have the string value of your GUID for vista. It looks something like this {84dd5819-b823-12ef-b2f0-444512344200} write yours down. This is not a universal number,all machines are unique and this is one i made up.

once you have this info do the following.
create a .bat file in Vista with the following commands in it. This is for the switch to XP.
bcdedit /default {ntldr}
C:\wizmo.exe reboot
This changes the default os to XP {ntldr} and then tells the system to restart.
create a bat file in XP with the following commands in it. This is for the switch to Vista.
bcdedit /default {84aa1239-a823-11aa-b2f0-444123200}
shutdown -r -t 00
This does the same thing only differently. I use the same bcdedit /default command to change the default os in the vista bootloader, however I can use the simpler xp shutdown command instead of wizmo. I chose to go with a delay of 00 since if I didn't use the -t switch I got a 30 second delay by default (*censored*).
Now I have two nifty shortcuts, one on my XP desktop, the other on vista. Both have custom icons and force immediate shutdown and switch to the other OS.
Hope this helps anyone who came up with the same question I did.
