I'm a grown man as is Transfusion I assume.
I'm not...
but I do have a brain, am not retarded, and don't go spewing profanity all over people in public. Besides, there is always the option to automatically censor such words in your Account settings. I think we should not derail this conversation with unnecessary nitpicking on morality issues and go back to the topic.
Since your other PC works fine with your router, and your WiFi card has problems even with DHCP enabled, it may possibly be a hardware issue. Does your laptop work fine with other access points, like in Starbucks?
If the problem turns out to be with your WiFi card, then you can either replace it, which will involve voiding your warranty, or you can get an add-on Expresscard WiFi module:
http://www.expresscard.org/web/site/cons_wtb.jsp#wila or you can get a USB WiFi card:
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16833328012 Of course, we will focus on fixing your internal card first.