wait a minute! Of course! when he said "Granny" he didn't mean granny, because Granny is the short form of SUPER GRANNY! and she wears a cape and flies around the world saving people from knitting disasters.
<group of old sterotype folk sitting on a park bench>
"Oh NO! I'll never finish this sweater before my grandchildren arrive"
stereotypical grumpy old man: "Why! Back in my day we had to knit our own grandchildren out of old lint from the dryer! we didn't get all lazy and have our kids make them for us!"
<Super granny theme song>
sterotypical grumpy old man: What is that awful racket! back in my day, music had soul, it did! Why I recall the day the music died as if it were yesterday
"What's that in the sky? Marcel?"
stereotypical grumpy old man: Back in my day we didn't ask two questions in the same paragraph, inpolite it was, why I recall I once asked my father, 'father, can I borrow two-pence? please?' and he rightly smacked me upside the head, 'we work hard for our two-pence around here sonny' he said. And he made me smoke a whole pack of cigars he did!
marcel:what? hold on, let me get my glasses...
<ten seconds later>
"it's a bird!"
stereotypical grumpy old man: back in my day birds knew to keep their distance from the me, you didn't have any birds asking no man out for a date, and you didn't see them exposing their naughty thigh bits like a prostitute, nope, thems were simpler times.
"It's a plane!"
stereotypical grumpy old man: back in my day, we didn't have no fancy flying machines, we were happy if we could slide on a cardboard box down a grassy hill"
"It's SUPER GRANNY"
stereotypical grumpy old man: eh! Super granny you say sounds like my kind of girl!
marcel: but, stereotypical grumpy old man, you'll need to double-date with her sister too!
stereotypical grumpy old man: What? Why back in my day, we didn't have siblings, I remember when I was a young lad, all my brothers and sisters hated me horribly because I was an only child.
"OMG! super granny! I saw her on TV!"
stereotypical grumpy old man: back in my day, we didn't have no television, why, for entertainment we'd just slap a blind man on a unicycle and have a good ol' time watching the feller fall down! sometimes we'd find a richer and we'd make their guide dawg ride a tricycle, good times, those.
Super granny: never fear, dear, here, let me fix up that stitching for you
And with that, she'd pull out her trusty pair of PURE GOLD knitting needles, use her super knitting speed to knit 10 percent faster then the average knitter, and take off into the sky again.
"Wow! she must have been great at track and field!"
stereotypical grumpy old man: back in my day we didn't have no wimmins in the track and field, no sir, sports was a mans domain, why I recall when my sister Sally wanted to do the long jump, there was much bickering, and my father said "Eat this chestnut!" and that's when he gave me the train set that my older brother wanted, at which point the rivalry between me and the neighbours dog began...