BC_Programmer is clearly Canadian Illuminati. No need to say much else "Buddy".
In what way is it clear?
Also, I don't know if I'd qualify. I used Illuminatus back in the day, is that a prerequisite?
Anyway, I've done a bit more research on this. It seems the Illuminati have a very colourful history.I think I finally understand the Illuminati. It's all so clear to me, once you understand the history.
See, Once upon a time(a Thursday), in the Magical land of America, there were two royal sisters. And they were like wizards. One of them, the elder, was responsible for raising the sun for the day, and the younger was responsible for raising the moon at night. (Kepler be damned). Over time, the younger sister became resentful, People went to work and played during her sisters glorious day, but shunned, and slept her sisters beautiful night. Also, she had to work all night so she never got to see things like David Letterman. I mean, really, she wasn't missing much, but people crave that which they do not have, and she couldn't watch it so she really wanted too.
One fateful Night... Or, well, Morning I guess, the younger sister refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. This kinda sucked for everyone, people thought it was like daylight savings time and they forgot or something. The older tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young ones heart had transformed her into a wicked witch of darkness, Cribbage Moon. Her special powers were primarly with being really really good at cribbage... and of course being able to take on any form at any time and having psychokinetic powers rivaling even the fictitious abilities of Superman. So yeah, anyway, she vowed to shroud the world in darkness (she was very goth, I guess, very emo about it- pale skin, bad makeup, etc) The older sister was all "Not cool" and the younger was like "is too" and the older responded "is not", etc. So anyway, the older sister stomped off and used the most powerful magic known to the people at the time, the Elements of Harmony. They were pretty colours. They didn't actually represent elements, really, that was just a convenient moniker. I mean really, that would be pretty annoying to try to gather all the elements in the periodic table, as well as pretty unexciting. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't find anything particularly magical or exciting about Boron. So anyway, she took these 'elements', which were really just colourful gemstones, and shined a bright flashlight through them. Cribbage Moon- who was distracted playing Cribbage- looked up and had her eyes assaulted by a bright multi-hued light. Remember she was pretty goth/emo so she sorta thought she was a vampire, and the light had the psychosamatic effect of making her explode. For some reason, she just lost her outer cribbage expert shell. She also lost the ability to boil water or turn a cat into a Ferrari by looking at it, but those were pretty overrated powers anyway; I mean, you can only turn so many cats into Ferrari's and Bugatti's before you either get bored or run out of cats.
How does this factor into the Illuminati? Well, it's pretty clear! The ultimate goal of the Illuminati is not necessarily to control the world (which they effectively do, allegedly) but rather to seek out the Elements of Harmony Playset so that they can harness their power to become world-famous cribbage players. The fact is, though, that the colours of the elements- Red, Green, and Yellow- that are now used to indicate the Illuminati, err... well, somewhere, I guess. I couldn't find any citations about their symbolic colours. I guess you had inside information. Nobody knows what the other colours were, though. I mean it's a safe assumption that they were, say, Purple, Blue and Orange, Maybe Indigo too. Some might say there is an Ultra-violet element, but nobody has seen it... well, it being outside the visible light spectrum I guess that makes sense.
But there was a 6th element that nobody knew about. This is what the Illuminati is truly after. The 6th Element, held by Twilight Sparkle in the Magical land of Equestria. However, in order to access the land of Equestria, The illuminati will need to create a Stargate. I have created a artist mockup of what travelling to Equestria might look like, which can be viewed
here.
It's worth noting that Equestria get's it's name naturally from the sentient inhabitants being largely comprised of equines; more or less it's a parallel dimension. Anyway, turns out they have their own crazy backstory involving some Nightmare Moon, elements, yadda yadda, sealed in the moon for a 1000 years to return on the longest day of the thousandth year, etc. Anyway, what is important to the Illuminati is to get a hold of that Element. With that Element they will unlock not only the power to control the Earth, but the power to control everything, including alternate universes; this includes not only Philadelphia, but also Fillydelphia- not just Stalingrad, but also Stalliongrad. Not just Manhattan, but also Manehattan, Not just buckingham palace, but also Geldingham palace (whose purpose is a bit less exciting and something many a colt recoil from, but let's not get into that). Anyway you get the idea, I would hope.
Additionally, and perhaps equally important, once they have all 6 elements, they will have the ability to be like, really good at cribbage. And If that isn't everybody's life-long dream, well, I don't know what to say.
But time is running out for The Illuminati. They have been trying for the last thousand years to access The magical Land of Equestria, but once the thousand years are over, the universes will be out of alignment (it's complicated, involves a lot of trigonometry and stuff) and it will no longer be possible to dimension jump using a fictitious wormhole. That's why they have become more aggressive. For the Illuminati,
The Clock is ticking.
