Follow "gameperson's" instructions if you want to disable Windows automatic updates. You can also select it for manual update.
More detail steps (For Win 7, if you are using other Window then following steps may differ) :
1. Start->Control Panel->System and Security
2. Find Window Update and select "Turn automatic update on or off"
3. And then do what you need.
To disable Right hand side Flag messages
Control Panel->Action Center
and do what you need.