Or even better, equilateral triangles...
Now now- one step at a time, here.
recently we mastered the Scalene triangle shatter glass structure. It took almost three years to perfect the isosceles triangle shatter structure.
The difficulty with an equilateral triangle shatter structure was mostly with the edges- unless we ridge the sides it won't be able to accomodate the equilateral triangles at the edge- instead we'll get partial triangles, or worse- quadrilaterals. in either case, the structure during a shatter was so marred in our recent tests that the entire thing ended up shattering into equilateral Dodecagons, which was not the desired affect.
The research going into these studies has been long and vast. First, we fed a cockroach Tofu, and used the excrement from that cockroach to create sausages. burnt those sausages beyond recognition, stuck them in a blender, and then fed them to a two-headed gerbil. If the gerbil heads fought over the food, we declared our line of experiments null and started over using more careful testing procedures. If, however, they didn't touch the cockroach crap sausage then we continued onto the second part, which consisted of shooting said two headed gerbil using a high-speed launcher into a vat of rabid kittens (we go through a lot of these- I'd like to extend a thank you to our main rabid kitten supplier, Dias de verano. "Rabid kittens and expert haircare- what else could you possibly need?" ). now we count the number of maimed kittens. if the number is even, we proceed , otherwise, we start from square one- perhaps a different cockroach. proceeding from that step involves grinding up the bones of the two headed gerbil (which, having been shot into a vat of rabid kittens at the speed of sound would likely be quite dead) into bone-meal, which we subsequently feed to a large experimental creature that craps chairs. If, after eating the bone-meal the creature craps a victorian era high-class and padded chair, then we proceed. if there is no padding but the chair has victorian stylings, we instead take it on antiques roadshow for appraisal. If the price fetches more then 5 grand, we still proceed in the same fashion as we would had there been padding.
In several instances our creature ended up crapping an entire living room or bedroom set. In these instances the creature had to be hospitalized (our team of monkey doctors) to mend the- "posterior" tearing that occured from such large objects.
Now then, the experiment, having continued because of the crapping of a chair in the victorian style by our chair-crapping beast, moves on to the last stage, whereby we take the chair and expose it to a colony of super termites.
How are they super? you ask? well, quite simple really- they have been genetically engineered to grow small growths on their head that makes it look like they are wearing square glasses, much as a stereotypical nerd. They also have the ability to reproduce pi to the number of decimal places equal to the size of their colony.
Moving right along then- being exposed to the nerd-termites, we determine one of several things based on the resulting behaviour:
-if the nerd termites begin a ceaseless assault (before or after throwing dice), we add 2 to the result board.
if the nerd termites begin reciting poetry, we add 5.
if that poetry is in a foreign language, we add another 2
If the nerd termites begin to bivouac for no reason, we multiply it by PI and divide it by the number of toasters in the building.
If we wander off during testing, we just punch in some random number for the test result.
Once finished, we would have concluded absolutely nothing, spent millions of dollars, and generally gone no farther ahead research wise then before.
I declare this post a BC_Programmer classic.
