Don't spoil his fun....he may spend weeks working on another non-functional speed tweak...
Some all around speed "tips":
-If you wear unmatched socks it can increase file access times by over 50%!
-People with fillings should avoid using the mouse, and use keyboard operations where possible. Experiments done on guinea pigs have revealed that this can increase throughput by a factor of 5 compared to a guinea pig sitting on your keyboard.
-If you have a game controller plugged it, put flame stickers on it. It makes everything go faster.
-If you have more then 512MB of memory, this can slow down newer operating systems like Windows Vista, because they deal with memory in something called Blubbors*. a Blubbor takes a long time to transfer, and the more blubbors you have, the longer everything takes. Windows Vista has a minimum requirement of at least 3.51 Blubbors, but has been known to run on machines as low as a half blubbor (also known as a scaligree**). Anyway, the more blubbors the slower t hings go, and the more memory you have, the more blubbors, so if you remove memory things will go faster. No arguing with logic.
*Blubbors do not exist. If you think you are seeing a blubbor, it's a hallucination. Seek medical aid immediately.**scaligree's were discovered in 1636 by the Algonquin native tribe in North America. It smells like daffodils.
