Hey, update: we tried connecting to ethernet, nothing happened in the way of gaining an Internet connection. However, eight new drivers showed up in the network adapters tab (they all start with "WAN Miniport" so I'll abbreviate as WANM): WANM (IKEv2), WANM (IP), WANM (IPv6), WANM (L2TP), WANM (Network Monitor), WANM (PPPOE), WANM (PPTP), and WANM (SSTP). Tried updating them all individually and searched for hardware updates again and nothing. I don't know if trying to connect to ethernet brought this about or if it's a happy coincidence, but I'm at a loss as to what to do now.