Awww, don't be like that, what's the problem, I'm not going to read 50+ posts to find out.
Download, install & update AVG & Spybot, set Spybot to advanced mode, activate Spybot Resident Protection & lock your HOSTS file.
Turn off Windows Automatic Updates.
Be happy.
If none of the above makes sense then tell me, I may have to read this thread.