I already have it about as fast as my dialup will go
Everyone knows your pain. We all started with dial-up some years ago. My first modem (1993) was just 14.4k, so you can imagine. Then I "improved" to 33.3k, then 56k.
Few years later (1998), I've heard, cable service (@Home) was coming to my area, when I saw it at my client house (he was one of the first people to get it), I was just shocked.
I couldn't wait to get it.
At the beginning, it was little bit painful, because they had a lot of downtimes, but I didn't care. It was just SOMETHING ELSE!!!