Well, I was thinking about Star trek for a while, and I realized, you know how their always using they communicators, well, how come it never seems to happen that their on the can or something? I can see it.
Riker: Riker to Picard
Picard: Just a moment, Number one. I'm just finishing up a number 2 here
Also, I was thinking, It's kind of funny watching them use their computers. It's interesting how reestablishing a containment field takes the same keystrokes as replicating a cup of coffee. Guess they involve similar semantics. Or perhaps the fictional designers decided, hmm, it's the core of the entire ship... we better include a coffee maker.
Anyway, I was thinking, they should bring it back, and I'd write the episodes. They would be completely believable. I can see it, they'll all be reminiscing or something, and then data will be all,
"I'm quick. The only downside is I randomly betray you for reasons beyond my control. Remember that time I almost killed you all, my brother lohr was all, 'you dudes is food for the crystal entity' and I was all, shut off. Oh wait, I was shut off, so I guess it wasn't my fault after all. Well I feel much better then. SPOT! come here. Now replicator, create feline supplement 41."
"Hey! *censored*? this is coffee. I mean, how unusual. This is coffee."
spot: meow.
"*censored* YOU NOISY BEAST! *throws against wall*
pure genius. I'd remember to follow the whole formula set down previously, but I'd make them learn from previous experiences.
"We can take hundreds of hits from powerful weaponry, but stay away from that seemingly innocent asteroid. It's giving off some form or radiation or beam that we pretty much made up on the spot, that will have the added ability to shut down all our core systems, except somehow artificial gravity is fine.
Of course, what season would be complete without a twist turn. Data's loyal companion, spot, takes control of the ship, him and his feline friends pilot the good ship tunafish in search of... well, cat toys. Of course, they have their own share of troubles:
"Captain spot, our warp core is going all breechy. Also, we're out of coffee. And send some milk, I'm thirsty."
"oh NO! are you serious? we're out of coffee? NOOOOOO! if we run out of coffee, the dogs have won! don't you get it?"
"actually, no. None of this makes any sense."
*SLAP* "get ahold of yourself!"
and of course, there's nothing like cliffhangers...
Previously, on Star Trek: tunafish...
Oh no! if the brig forcefields fail, we'll have dogs running loose. We can keep them up by rerouting power from the replicator system, but that means we'll need to go without coffee!
...
"Spot... you know I love you... it's just"...
"There's another cat, isn't there, Doctor smokey?"
...
"Alright ensign kibbles, just cut the blue wire, and we'll all be able to make coffee."
"erm... there is no blue wire."
"Oh, sorry. I'm looking at the wrong diagram.. let's see here. ha, never can find stuff when you need it... Ahh, here it is."
"Ok, got it- you need to drag out some CDEVs from the computers main control panel. That's causing the conflict."
"ok. hey wait a second, I don't have opposable thumbs, I cannot grasp the mouse."
"well, I hope your proud of yourself kibbles. you killed us all. Also, I just noticed, that if I look at this diagram upside down, it looks mike a mousey."
Classics. Definitely memorable episode transcripts.
