I pretty much have the same setup as you. When I first set it up, it turned out that the Norton firewall was preventing a connection. Make sure you don't have a software firewall that's preventing a connection. If you do, you will have to configure it. I never had much luck with ad-hoc networks. Also try broadcasting the SSID until the laptop "finds" it, then you can turn off the broadcast.
Set up the router without any bells and whistles (WEP/WPA, MAC filtering, etc). Add them in later after the default setup is working.
Good luck.
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